Hello, misery, my dear friend.

This is it. I have no right to be upset over him anymore. But I know I will. I can only hope it last only for a while.

I feel so betrayed, so unwanted. I don't get why can't you just tell me the truth? If you didn't want me anymore why didn't you just tell me? Is it my fault that I took our relationship too seriously? I will not apologize for caring. You said that you don't think you should have a relationship right now and now this. I thought I was your friend, yet you treat me like a fling. Was it all lies? I know I'm not exactly desirable or someone to be proud of but still. I. WAS. YOUR. FRIEND. Fuck you. I should hate you but I won't. I can't, and that makes me so angry. I still care and I still have feelings for you and it's waiting to burst but I can't let it.

I fucking miss you and you are right there but I can't touch. SO FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU AND YOUR IMPULSIVENESS TO START SOMETHING YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO END. If we had stayed friends I wouldn't be this upset over it, I would have been a little jealous and that's it. You had to make me fall in love and rip it away. It takes two to be in a relationship but it only takes one to end it. And I had to be the idiot crying over you. I hope you are happy, at least one of us should be.

In the end, beneath all the anger and hurt I'm feeling now, I do wish you all the best. I just can't help but feel hurt and bitter that you moved on so fast. Was I that unimportant? I lasted shorter than her too. Damn, I'm lousy at this. At least you bothered asking. That's nice of you.

Open letter to myself,

Shhh, Si Min, it's just your insecurity whispering. Don't implicated other people. He has the right to do whatever he want, date whoever and whenever. You cannot expect him to miss you as much as you do him. You can be upset, but you will be ok. If you are that unimportant to him, you don't have to care that much anymore right? Try, you can do it. Compartmentalize everything. Sorrow is useless, throw it away.

Learn how to be more indispensable, less people will leave you that way.
Work hard till people need you.
Be less useless than now.
You only have your whole life ahead of you. Which considering it is for me, it's pretty short. So no time to mope around, ONWARD TO POWER OVER PEOPLE AND HAPPINESS.

Hello, putri. Hehe.